Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
