I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
