The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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