Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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