Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
