Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
