I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
