i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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