she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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