Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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