i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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