So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
