Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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