Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
