it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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