I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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