Christians are straight up FREAKS
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
