I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
accomplished twins. life is a go
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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