I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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