Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
