So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There r osticjed everywhere
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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