i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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