I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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