remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.