found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.