Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
