So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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