your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
