sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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