This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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