Nicole vs. Life
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
