Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
