I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
