Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This is the high leading the old right now
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize