I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
