sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
