i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize