he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Less talking, more tequila
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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