oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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