I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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