Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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