Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
