i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
