I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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