You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
