how hairy? two words: wookie tits
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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