I'm gonna have a badass scar
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
