seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Text me some of your sweat
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