Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
