Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
