Pappa wants mamma naked
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
