i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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