all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
