He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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