So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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