I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
