The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
