So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
